Fear of pain

Most of us are aware that we don't like pain. We don't like being hurt physically or emotionally. In everybody, depending on the circumstance, and to varying degree,
I think our fear of pain is so great that we end up being cruel because of it.

What I mean by this is that rather than dealing with it and fighting it, we choose to avoid it, unless it is our own pain and one that cannot be avoided.

Let me pick some examples. Think of most villains in tales and movies. They are often victims of some sort of violent crime in the past. Examples include the woman/man who has acid thrown on his face and his face is damaged because of that. The person whose face has been burned, one who has a huge gash on his/her face because of a knife/axe wound. Shouldn't we be sympathizing with these people and loathing the people who caused these horrible wounds to these people. But no, instead, we make them the villains and loathe them. To justify our hatred we make up stories of how these people were evil in the first place and they deserved this disfigurement. Some other times, we make up stories of how these people were fine at first, but then, now they are frustrated because of their misfortune and take out their frustration by hating and attacking the whole people. Whatever be the case, the subliminal message is "disfigured=bad". Perhaps the real reason is not all this, but that their disfigured face reminds us of pain, a thought that we don't like to have and the real reason we are angry with them is for inconveniently (for us), just being alive and making us face these unpleasant thoughts. Perhaps this kind of sentiment also explains the old tendency in movies for disfigured victims to be killed (often by "accident") in the story so that we didn't have to fell uncomfortable about how miserable society was going to make their lives. Another example here is the frequent ending in movies of an earlier era where rape victims took their own lives so that we could continue ours with a "too bad..that really sucks".

There are more examples, in the form of villains suffering from various diseases or having mechanical limbs in them. In real life, of course, I see little connection between people with various physical impairments and their being "bad people" in any way. If anything, they are kinder for they understand the value of kindness better.

Then there is the regular stigmatization and labeling of the victim of violent secual crime - a female rape victim is "not chaste" or even "a whore" based on which society we are thinking about. Even in very liberal societies she may be viewed as not worthy of our company because of "having issues". A male victim of rape might be labelled a "homo" in homophobic circles (which itself is viewed a bad thing). Sometimes an air of dirtiness is attached to the victim and it is as if the person needs to be ashamed of the themselves for what happened with them, almost as if they chose it. Remarkably commonly, the perpetrator is not ostracized nearly as much.

I have no expertise whatsoever in psychology and none of what I have said is informed by anything but personal observation and listening to others' experiences and thoughts. I don't have any statistics to back any of this up. But I do not wish to make a case here (maybe another day). So that's alright. I am content with describing some thoughts. It does appear to me that our basic tendency to not want to even look at pain leads us to avoid providing support to victims and in some cases, even to turn against them. Of course, strong individuals fight these tendencies within themselves and societies as a whole have made significant improvement in dealing with these issues. For instance, many organizations have made serious strides, either voluntarily, or forced by laws (awakening societies) in not hushing up matters and in providing protection and support to victims of crimes and abuses. Nevertheless, the desire to project "that kind of thing doesn't happen here" is in constant struggle with "there is a problem and we need to fix it".

Thoughts on the city

New York. It's magical. It's wonderful and insane. Liberating but also confining in an obvious way. You are always in a crowd and you are always alone. No one bothers you in New York. I've seen the rudest people here, but never ever felt insulted or disrespected. It's relatively unpolluted and filthy at the same time.

Everyone rides the subway. I love the subway. In fact, it is the number two thing I love about the city. The number one thing - I love how hard everyone works (or seems to be working). No complaining, no excuses. Just working away and getting things done. Inadvertently make the economy work by trying to generate wealth for yourself. That's what everyone is trying to do. From "old money" to the most unskilled immigrant. In the crazy crowd, I'm experiencing peace like never before. It's the hardest I've ever worked and most relaxed I have been. I love the harshness of the city. It is in my nature to struggle and do my thing better. I'm thankful for not being under pressure to "not be hyper", "not take things too seriously" . I'm thankful for not being under any social pressure to be "cool/intellectual". I can meditate for hours, but I cannot for 10 minutes hang out with people who have the single-point agenda of "chilling out" and taking everything lightly. So thank you, New York suits me just fine. Actually, I'm not yet sure it is NYC or just my workplace.

Strangely, the honesty and inherent humility of this orgy of materialism is truly soothing compared to the pressure cooker of the intellectual pursuits I've seen.

I take things seriously, and if you are like me, this is the place to be, mon!

Some of my figures

Figure drawing under a predetermined amount of time is a favorite of mine because the mind is forced go straight to the message it wishes to express in a matter of seconds. The most intense period is the first 10 to 30 seconds. The lines come in the next minute. The rest is details and "decoration" as Jorgen might call, whether you have 5 minutes or an hour after it.

Testing Quillpad

For transliteration. (Internet Explorer might be need to view it)

बड़ा दिन मुबारक!

கலக்கு மக்சான்

Hyderabad faux toes

Maula Ali ka dargah in the moonlight

Locks at the entrance to Maula Ali ka dargah, Hyderabad. Devotees put locks on this rope. I don't recall what the exact purpose of that was.

Cow outside home in Hyderabad. This is not to show India as a land of cows and snake charmers, but to showcase some entrepreneurship. As the symbol of prosperity (and fertility - thank you, circusinjungle) in the old agrarian society of India, cows were held in high regard. A lot of people still wish to show their regard ("worship") for the cows. But who has the time to have a cow at home? So this young man has this cow that he decorates and brings to middle class homes. People can perform pujas and they give him some money for the hassle-free piety.

Gandhi was a what?

What do you understand when you hear the word pacifist? .... without looking up the dictionary...

A pacifist is a person who

A) Prays for world peace/attends peace concerts
B) Seeks to avoid confrontation as a way to resolve conflicts
C) May be a confrontationist, but rejects violence


Thanks to everyone who took the poll while it was on. I had to remove it since it caused some other technical problems. If you picked one of the first two choices, did Gandhi meet your definition of a pacifist? My understanding is that Gandhi was ready to pick a fight before you could say "snap poll", and regularly encouraged unpleasant confrontations. He just didn't care for violence.

I guess a pacifist is someone who is in favor of peace, but peace is not well defined. Some say it is simply the absence of war and some others seek a more stringent definition. The kind folks who last edited the Wikipedia page on Peace say

Peace is commonly understood to mean the absence of hostilities. Other definitions include freedom from disputes, harmonious relations and the absence of mental stress or anxiety, as the meaning of the word changes with context.

With this latter definition, MG was not a pacifist, but he was by the former definition.

Identity

This is from an email conversation with a friend. It seems to me there's an influence in our life that strongly influences many of our positions.

That is whether one has been a member of the minority or majority while growing up. This greatly influences who one would tend to sympathize with on an issue. The issue may not personally affect one or one may not belong to either community in the dispute.

As for myself, I find myself sympathetic to minorities, probably because of having grown up as a minority member. In every situation, I'm likely to find for the minority, even if I don't belong there, I tend to be able to sympathize better. I'm starting to think that this conditioned instinct is stronger than any other. Consider this - regardless of how we are viewed by Americans and what our status is in US society, Indians with Hindu upbringing are much more likely to identify with whites and follow their logic than Indians with Muslim/Christian upbringing. The latter group tends to identify with the other races. i.e. the "normal" people of India identify with the views of "normal" Americans more easily and "odd" Indians do the same with "odd" Americans. This seems independent of other alignments such as liberal/conservative etc.

I don't particularly like the Christian faith (that of my parents) and am much more at ease with the Hindu point of view. Still, at another level I identify with the Syrian Christian community though I strongly dislike the church doctrine. If it came to conflict between the Hindus and Christians on whether everyone should become Hindus or not, I would readily jump in with the Christians/Muslims/whoever simply on the basis of the belief that homogenization should not be forced and minorities should integrate in normal life WITHOUT having to change who they are. This is not just religion. I usually find this to be the case when people of one language live as a minority among people of another etcetera AND have no recourse to a situation where they can become the majority (counterexample is the Northie living in, say, Chennai. He/She can feel odd and unusual and all the baggage that goes with it. But he/she knows all the while that on the national scale, he is among the majority and the Tamils are the minority. So he can still have a pro-majority line easily.)

Even though Muslims are closer to Christianity, the "normal" religion here, Hindus are much quicker to integrate. They are generally in favor of getting all immigrants to learn English and live the American way, probably having some frustration from back home that some parts of the Indian population does not integrate into the "Indian" lifestyle.

In the case of the second generation, kids of Hindus barely consider themselves Hindus religion-wise, though they might take up the culture, whereas the second gen. Muslims kids often are really Muslims themselves. Second gen. Hindu kids depart radically from their parents on majority vs. minority, having grown up as minority in this country. Perhaps this IS the reason for the phenomenon mentioned in para. above since 2nd gen Muslim kids and their parents both fall on the same side of this fence. (I'm just gathering this from the news and the 'net.)

This phenomenon, is probably correctly generalized to "powerful" group rather than "majority".

Privuhledge

M says that "victim" is the most coveted status by groups (but not individuals) in modern America, maybe the whole world.

In celebration of that, I present to you, the most misspelt word of the entire blogosphere -

PRIVILEGE

The letter 'I' appears twice and there is no 'D' in the word. It is not any of the following.

Priveledge
Priviledge
Privilage
Privelege
Privledge

Baby bomb squadron

Love this video, which really breaks one of the biggest taboos still around. It's wonderfully made, and you don't have to be not shocked to enjoy it. I've always been a sucker for visuals like this.

This is a work by Nina Paley, she of the Sita sings the Blues fame. In SSTB, Nina places herself in the historical/mythical context of the Ramayana and expresses how she might have felt at being betrayed by Rama if she were Sita.

Photos of the day

This one was from the LA times. The caption read -

"California Congressman Darrell Issa watches as a refugee woman screams "kill Bush" in Arabic as she holds aloft her baby that she delivered three days ago at a Catholic Relief Services shelter in the Aschrafieh area of Beirut." How embarrassing can it get? This is the same dude who bankrolled the recall of the Gray Davis in his effort to become Governor of California. Alas, Arnie jumped in and Issa had to pull out. The LA Times kills two birds with one stone. I don't know what has happened to my favorite paper over the last few months. Has the editorial team changed or something? Maybe upper management?




This one is also from the LA times gallery today. It features people doing something somewhere. It's here because I like it. M and her brother Hima and I went up the Santa Ynez mountains (perhaps Figueroa mountain) to watch the Perseid meteor shower tonight and were disappointed because we didn't know what to expect. Actually the "shower" was more like a trickle (from someone whose kidney failed). A few meteors every hour. But getting out there in the Santa Barbara backcountry is great because the valley has almost zero interference from the city lights. The Oso river/Paradise road, Cachuma Lake area is pitch black until moonrise.

Unexplained pains

What you got ? Back pain, leg pain, shoulder pain, neck pain, kundi pain, pain shooting down the leg from the back (sacro-iliac joint)? It hurts like hell but you don't really know why the pain started? No, that explanation that you came up with two days after the pain started and then simply believed afterwards doesn't count.

If this is you AND you have an open mind, then let John Sarno talk to you and find yourself free of pain.

This has had a tremendous impact on my immediate personal circle. People suffering from some sort of long term/recurring pain - my self, wife, mother, brother, father, friend (Carpal Tunnel), brother's friend all read it. Of these, mine was probably the one that lasted the shortest. That list includes people who had pains for years, people who were in a virtual house arrest because of the pain, people who could not participate in any sports or exercise, people who couldn't sit in front of a computer for any decent length of time.

The common thread - no doctor would diagnose an actual damaged tissue or broken bone in their body. Slipped/degenerated discs don't count as causes! Read the book and you'll see why. Not every person who's been recommended this book has read it. However, every single one of those who read it is doing well today. By simply reading this book and really following it! The book is very well written for anyone who has a good degree of scientific skepticism. But this will probably not work for the diehard scientistists and doctorists. No one can help those. To them, I say "Enjoy your pain!". In fact, my only suggestion for improvement for the book that I'd recommend to Sarno is to work on getting through to these people as well.


I hate to back up facts that can stand on their own merit by citing the names and qualifications of people who concur. But a come-down from this position for once is alright since this could end up helping some lead a much better life. Read the reviews of common people like you and me on that Amazon page if you want to hear how it worked for others. Dr. Sarno is a professor at New York University's medical school and is the director of rehabilitative medicine at the Rusk Institute. The Harvard-Radcliffe RSI group recommends two of Dr. Sarno's books very strongly. Several other physicians have contributed to his latest book A divided mind. But I shouldn't have to say all this if you pay attention and analyze/question everything in the book for yourself, rather than trying to view this as the opinion of someone authoritative.

One note - of course, if you do have a broken bone or torn tissue, this doesn't apply to you!

Stop that meditation now!

OK, don't read this post if you're likely to be offended by graphic material. I know that's like an invitation for some of you, much like the PG certification of some movies.

Dangers of Meditation

Follow the link that describes the dangers to your sexuality
. OK, I did jump to that link first, I'll admit it.

There did not used to be straight and gay. There were "householders," people who worked and were married and maintained houses, and there were "monks," who were single and lived in groups of men, and wore really chic robes.

That's right, meditation is sooooo gay.

I have done thousands of pujas over the years, and I am always stunned at the fabulousness...

AND, it is sooo French, er... Freedom.

The downside to all this specialness is that regular people get the feeling they are not good enough to meditate, and that they have to accessorize extensively first. You can't just sit down in your old jeans and meditate, you have to wear the right silk, and you can't just meditate any old way you feel, you have to do the technique taught by a teacher whose name sounds exactly as foreign as a French fashion designer. You don't practice the "Joe Smith" technique. No, you wear only Louis Vuitton and Prada, and you only practice the meditations taught by Chetsang Rimpoche.

How come my yoga teachers are named Victoria, Carol (and no, they aren't male. I know what you're thinking).

Things get more graphic as Buddhist philosophy is discussed...

Once Buddha was approached by a monk with a penis so long that he could suck on it. Obviously, having sex with a woman was a sin, but what was wrong with sucking on his own cock? It is recorded in the scriptures that Buddha ruled that sucking on your own cock is a sin. A different monk had a penis so long that he could fuck himself in the ass. He approached Buddha respectfully and asked, "Sir, is this a sin?" Buddha ruled that yes, this was a sin.

OK, if that left you wanting more, follow the link and read it yourself. He (It's a man) then explains that Buddhist monks are the best in fellatio! And then, the piece de resistance, a picture with title Woman worshipping the penis of a naked sadhu that's obviously Western.

Then there's the mandatory reference to the Lingam. The author's own experiences are now introduced

A couple of years after the 1971 Majorca course, I was in Switzerland on a meditation course, and found out for myself what a delight sex in the afternoon is when your days are spent in meditation and doing yoga asanas....

and it goes on.

This person's site provides a fine example of what happens to you when you do a PhD, or, as a friend points out, when you meditate too much :-)
!

Yesssss!

The BBC reports today that India has passed a new law banning employment of children (the article doesn't provide a definition by age) as domestic help, in tea shops, cycle shops etc.
BBC NEWS | South Asia | India bans child domestic labor

This was very common among middle class families in cities where I grew up. My own family was somehow very careful about it and we always had adults as maids if we had ones at all. (There were some old people employed, but that's for another day). Sexual harassment? If anything, they went to the other extreme. The youngest one to work in our family was this 17/18 yr old girl and she complained to my mom that I (then in 2nd class) was whistling while she worked. My mom promptly gave me one on the forearm with a really hot dosa spatula, burning a nice hole in the skin, leaving a permanent mark. Were you CRAZY, mom? I was all of six and a half and just trying to learn to whistle!!! Certainly not at HER! OK, it's cool. Just giving you a hard time. I know that you didn't realize it was hot. All forgiven. I love you, mom! My point is ... That was probably good education for the rest of my life :-) to treat women with respect and watch when/how/where you whistle.

Yes, there is that argument, "at least they get a place to sleep in and some food to eat....".

No, they should go to school and not have to work until the various lobes in their skulls fully fuse. Of course, the gov. that makes the law should (and does) also provide free education to the kids, including lunch.

A ban is a good place to start. Like most things in India, legislation is no guarantee. But at least, there will be a stigma attached to it and at least the middle class will stop doing it, at least in the cities. Eventually, it will go away.

Speculating.....what caused this change... people generally started having a conscience over time? I think not... I think this has to do with the increasing affluence in India. Money can do wonders...

Beks and Ro

Beks and Ro

BLANK NOISE PROJECT

BLANK NOISE PROJECT

It's about time a movement started to address the issue of "eve teasing" (a euphemism for public sexual harassment) in India. Go, Blank Noise Project!

This latent threat of violence hurts Indian women's rights more than the anything they face from anyone who thinks women should occupy a lower place. The latter, you can stand up to. The former is a physical threat and greatly restricts your movements in many places and at many times.

Where's the proof at, my friend?

1. "The proof is in the pudding."

2. "I'll be with you momentarily."

Statement 1 is a novel way to prove theorems. That's right, you'll find it down there with the sugar, all mixed in. Statement 2 is what you say when you have to meet somebody really unpleasant.

Good news..

No, this is not about GEICO. A Recent exchange among friends:

%%%%%%%%%%
person A

These days, almost all headlines are tragic.. I wonder if we are
getting numbed by only negativity..

Right now, my headlines read
- At least 100 feared dead in N. Korea floods
- Israeli pounding continues
- ~400 dead in Indonesian Tsunami
- Iraq civilian toll at ~6000 in May and June alone
- Bombay pauses to remember train bombings
- Soldiers reclaim Afghan town from Taliban..

this is just way too depressing for anyone who thinks they can make a
change in this world.. they can better people's lives..

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

person B

It's just that we hear about these things now. If you were there in the middle
ages, what about "Thousands more die from bubonic plague", or during the
tsunami over a hundred years ago, "Starvation plagues thousands stranded after
tsunami". Or, three hundred years ago, "Hundreds of African slaves feared dead in
trans-Atlantic voyage."

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Person C

Further support for B's point. We are almost never told about this in schools

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Person D

Echoing B, this just seems like the cost of getting global news and of being able to learn more** .

For people who have concern for others, this is definitely depressing. I find on forums here and there (esp. liberal ones like Salon) people who are clinically depressed from bad news.

Here's a tangent -

Other types of people find TV etc. depressing for other reasons. Body image is an example. Everyone on TV seems so beautiful that for a person who spends most of his/her time indoors it would seem that he/she is the only one who isn't gorgoeus. Similarly for the super-thin body ideal.

A lot of incredible "winners" on TV - the sort of person that you might meet once or twice in a lifetime - we see them everyday. Of course, this comes with an overdose of "losers" like criminals as well. So, it might not be that the media has an obsession with bad news. It's could be just that it's the the ordinary that's routinely censored. Incredibly tall , short people. Fast speakers, charmers, excellent sports stars, great scientists, super wise people and Jerry Springers, tiniest dog in the world, largest dog in the world, everyone seems to have a place in the media.

On the good side, we get entertained like never before and can see the most splendid places and events from around the world - the kind that we might see only once in a lifetime otherwise.

**(Learning seems to always lead to misery :-) as in Voltaire's story that C sent us - The story of the good Brahmin)

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Person E

I agree with everyone that there is selective amplification. There were two kinds of tragic headlines in the list that A sent us - one contained natural disasters and the other kind was related to war. And I am sure the effects of war were much worse in the past than they are now. In spite of factoring in the fact that we are getting to know about more events, it is still depressing to see war leading to death and misery. Humans cause it, so one would expect them to develop a better system for resolving matters.

[The emphasis is mine]

Quotation marks "run" amok!

When did quotation marks go from the purpose of quoting to that of emphasis or sarcasm.

Some examples

El Caballo "Negro" : name of South Lake Tahoe Inn. Means The "black" horse en español. There is a picture of a black horse outside the front door of the inn.

We will be closed on "New Year" day: Chinese restaurant, downtown Sunnyvale

Please turn "off" the lights: Rest room in Ker Inc, San Diego

You do the driving, we'll handle the "rest": Days Inn ad

There are thousands of such examples. Send me some and I'll post them all.

OK, let it go, Thojo. Yeah, so people are sloppy. What the hell? This is what I'm telling myself, but to no avail. This is on my mind, like a cat that's gotten into your afro and is scratching you, but you can't get it to come off - you know the feeling, don't you? No? Never had a cat in your afro?

Coming up next - exclamation marks!!!!!!!

A fabulous Squash weekend.

These are pictures from the reception that Asish threw for Joshna this weekend. What an end to a fun tournament at the LA Athletic Club.

Pic 1: L to R:

M, Joshna Chinappa (Indian #1, Junior british champion, junior world runner up), Thojo, Natalie Grainger (World #4, South Africa/USA), Sahar (Umar's and Rosemeen's child), Rachel Grinham (world #3, Australia, and we found out from talking at length with her, a very nice person), Vanessa Atkinson (world #2, the Netherlands).
Note: all of these top women were world #1 at some point or the other.

Pic 2: Holding Sahar in this picture is Nicol David, current world #1 Women's Squash player. 3rd from left in this picture, Natalie is also the president of WISPA.


Pic 3: Here's a picture with Asish Law, the man. A great host and a great Squash enthusiast who's doing a lot for Squash in Southern California.


Pic 4: L to R: M, Bob Hanscom (Squash director of the LA athletic club) and Rodney "Rod" Symington, one the top referees in the world. We had the good fortune of attending a seminar on refereeing from him on Saturday. At the reception, we had a lot of fun chatting with him. The conversation was so good and we shouted so much above the crowd that I lost my voice by the time we got around to the awesome conversation with Rachel later.



We had to leave early to drive back to Santa Barbara. Wish we could have stayed a little longer.

Rape From The Perspective Of Its Victims

A very important and interesting debate.

The Debate Link: Rape From The Perspective Of Its Victims

Thanks, Balaji for sending this link.

It's a girl thing

I'm noticing more and more adult women refer to adult men as "boy". Such as in "That's a boy-patterned shirt, I don't want it" or "I always wonder why boys' bicycles have that bar on top". The other day, I overheard a 45 yr. old woman refer to something that her hubby of the same age does as "a boy thing". Kind of an annoying thing at first. But hey, when men routinely refer to women of all ages as "girls", what could be wrong with being called "boys"?

There'll soon be a "You go boy!" :-)

"Indian culture"

OK. Random post. But I'm sure all zero of my readers will pardon me and continue to decline to comment on the matter. This is really cut from an email of mine.

I don't need to tell Indians about the professional culture vultures (CV). But quite a few amateurs too feel that way. I couldn't help noticing that even to many well meaning folks in India, "Indian culture" is simply a way to stifle any deviation from the mainstream (for instance, it's not indian culture that women wear jeans, while it's totally Indian Culture for men to wear pants since, as we all know, ashoka, buddha and adishankara were all
jeans-clad). In other words "Indian culture means doing things the
way everybody is doing them right now". Which is a fine definition. Except that this automatically makes it fluid and unbinding (without any need for rebellion). But this is not the CV's definition of Indian culture.

To take a "silly" example, consider the length of blouses that women wear (both the body length and the sleeve length). If you look at pictures when our parents were young (sixties and seventies), most ladies wore them very short. But those are not in fashion today. A lot of people in India will gasp at a young woman with a short blouse since it's against "Indian culture". The same people who wore those tiny ones when they were young! See, these folks don't mean to be hypocritical, they just forgot. They confused fashion for culture.

Please, don't tell me about how that's SO not the case in the big cities. The cultural difference betweent the villages in cities is so large and growing so fast that the cities no longer serve as any barometer of Indian life. Mumbai, Chennai and Bangalore do not speak for Karur and Pathanamthitta.

Also, the CV have definitions of Indian culture that are often quite narrow. Most of their issues center directly or indirectly on sexual matters, of course since Indian society is obsessed with sex, or rather, a pretense of its non-existence. Deny, deny, deny. Don't talk about homosexuality, infidelity, AIDS, anything. Pretend it isn't there. What do you expect from such a sexually repressed society anyway other than gradual crazy Talibanisation? Check out what's happening with Anna University's dress code . Women wearing small dresses - APOCALYPSE ! Apparently, this is the one thing that threatens Indian culture the most, and such women don't deserve protection from rape. Followed closely by dating, hand holding and general PDA (meerut).

Crazy consumerism on the other hand, doesn't strike very many in India as not being "Indian culture".

I think in our time, it might not be uncommon for some of us to be more respectful of more ancient Indian traditions than even their parents simply because of liking them. Language, traditional music, literature, and religion - how many people in India give a damn about any of these? I think religion might be the exception in this list- largely for majoritarian reasons. How many people who freak out about Indian culture in dress have even read an old philosophical text, sought out a native art form to enjoy?

I'd like to suggest that it would be wise to view some of the changes in the country as modernization and not Westernization. Western society has undergone a tremendous amount of change in recent times too. Much of what is seen around today is not really "Western tradition". For all the talk of the caste in India, it's not so long ago that overt racism was around in the US. The status of women in Western culture, until very recently was worse than their contemporary counterparts in India. Dowry existed in the West. The Western societies acted quickly in getting rid of these ills (still in the process in some matters) and moved ahead. They didn't sit around saying "English/German/Norwegian culture is being destroyed". Why can't we think of social change as modernization and not Westernization? As far as dress goes, if you looked at Victorian dresses, you'd know that shorts and mini-skirts are not Western culture in any way. Afros hairstyles are not Western culture or African culture.

Wedding lingo

The South Asian version of the English language is really special when talking about marriage.

Some special terms:

MARRIAGE to mean WEDDING
This perhaps arises from the fact that most people simply don't talk about marriages in India. In the two Southern states, Kalyanam (literally PROSPERITY) refers to the wedding and the single vs. married question is posed as "Have you had your wedding". This makes for some fun statements. Consider this "I'm really enjoying myself in my sister's marriage". OK, you need to replace 'at' with 'in' but that's not too hard for us.

BOY and GIRL for GROOM and BRIDE respectively
Perhaps from the days of child marriage?

LOVE MARRIAGE to mean NOT-AN-ARRANGED-MARRIAGE
This one really irritates me. I think anyone wanting to use this terminology shoud also agree to referring to arranged marriages as LOVELESS marriages, which they clearly ARE NOT. Why, can't you marry someone for money without your parents' involvement?

AFFAIR to mean RELATIONSHIP
This one is simply ridiculous. Everyone who knew their spouse before marriage or was involved with them "had an affair". Not to mention relationships that don't lead to marriage.

Before I forget, Belated "Happy Gandhi Jayanti" to all you homies :-D

Largest City in the World

Recently, Mumbai (Bombay) became the Largest City in the World

Interesting conversation:

Me: Bombay is the largest city in the world
Not me: (Look of surprise followed by) Oh, you mean by population

I bet that explanation was not necessary all these years while it was some Western city at the top.

As an aside, the largest urban conglomerates (as opposed to within the city limits) are Tokyo, NYC, Mexico City, followed by Mumbai and Sao Paulo.

Live Strong!

Can't help admiring the Lance Armstrong foundation and their efforts towards fighting cancer. They say one in three people are going to get cancer in their lifetime. But I suspect this is true only in the United States where this disease has extra-high incidence due to some mysterious reasons.

I went down to the local Discovery Channel shop today to pick up a few Live Strong wristbands and was told that they all flew off the shelves the moment the Tour de France 2005 started. What! It's the Tour again already! Yeah, I know, that's what I thought too, but here it is...

Yesterday, M and I hiked up Cathedral Peak . It's just 3 or 4 miles one way, but boy, is it steep! The peak is 3333 ft high (that's exactly 1 kilometre) Easily the best hike in Santa Barbara that I've done. I'd been up it (with a nightime downward descent) with Patrick, Caroline, Fred, Maria, and another Caroline. That time, we got to within 10 minutes of Arlington peak (though we didn't know it) and hiked back after dinner. But it was a different feeling to do it in the hot sun. For one, we made the summit, not only Arlington, but also Cathedral peak itself. And at the summit, in a nook under a rock, is a book inside a metal box where one can log their trip and sign. I wrote my comments and was just about to photograph the book when the battery of my camera died @:-(. The round trip took 6 hours and we made it just as it got dark. That was good, because we didn't carry an flashlights.

Anyway, in the box, someone had left one of these Live Strong wristbands. That was cool.

I'll post some pictures..

"Fairness creams"

The South Asian obsession with "fairness" is big business for some. Read on

PopMatters | Columns | Priya Lal | Bollywood from Beyond | Beauty Queens and Fairness Creams

Here's one on "colorism" among minorities in the US
Asian American Empowerment: ModelMinority.com - Pride or Prejudice?

I will post more on the Desi obsession with "fairness"

Sepia Mutiny

Oh, Yeah. This is it!

I think I've just found a cool hangout on the net.

I care about the same stuff that these people (the whole SM crowd) do and I laugh at their jokes and am bothered by the same things. Since the Friends-or-Foes question has been conclusively answered, here's the link.

Sepia Mutiny

Speaking of sepia, this happened no less than 3 times in the last 2 months - after i've just met someone (non-south asian descent) and they come to know that I'm an engineer or a mathematician (whichever I chose to say), they'd say something like "I thought so" or "You look like one". Meaning what? I have a drafter or a slide rule sticking out of my neck? Of course, 5 years ago, I decided to not be offended if anyone automatically thought I'm a vegetarian. I was going through a year and a half of vegetarianism then, but somehow everyone already knew since I'm from India, which, as we all know, is entirely vegetarian.

And you know what? just ignore my last rant about transparencies. Go create all the trash you want...

Transparency waste

We are forced to take back-up transparencies to conferences because the organizers do not guarantee that the laptop-projector combo will work. This generates a tremendous amount of waste and hurts the environment.

"I'm not willing to take the risk of not being able to deliver the talk because it's too important to me", you say. But consider the analogy to gasoline waste:

Think about the amount of gas used and pollution created when someone commutes to work. Of course, each day's attendance at work is worth much more than the amount you pay for gas. But, taken together, everybody together generates a huge amount of waste.

Why don't people like to use car pools to go to work? People rationalize it by saying that in case they need to leave at a different time from work, they can. So, instead of 10 people in one van, each of the 10 brings a car and spends on gas, parking etc. But almost everybody arrives and leaves at exactly the same time almost everyday. So, by not making that small sacrifice, everybody is spending a lot for a backup option they probably will never use.

The story with transparencies is analogous. Consider a midsize conference with about 500 attendees. Say 450 use electronic slides and have 15 slides each. If nobody's talk fails, then 6750 transparencies are just waste, not to mention the ink and time spent on printing them. That's a small mountain of plastic waste. OK, we've all been in a situation where the speaker couldn't start the talk on time because something failed. But what happened? Did they pull outtransparencies? No, they somehow fixed the problem, spent some time on that (even though they had the plastic slides) and just gave a shorter talk. So, even there it was a waste.

It's ridiculous that conferences always put out disclaimers regarding LCD projectors ("we advise you to bring backup transparencies") or do not provide them at all. This is hardly new technology anymore. There are workarounds if an organizer doesn't want to provide a support technician for the conference. One way would be for all speakers in a session to load their talks into a single laptop before the session starts. This laptop should have been tested for compatibility and all that. I saw this being done at a small conference recently and it worked!

I have made it a point of principle not to take backup transparencies with me. I went to my last 4 conferences like that and survived. If the computer doesn't work - no talk!

Discrimination, class

Thanks, Balaji for showing me this link. This is a beautiful experiment by which anybody, of any privileged class can find out what it feels like to be discriminated for no good reason.

frontline: a class divided: watch the program | PBS

Almost everybody in every society will agree that discrimination is a bad thing. A much smaller number will agree that it does exist. Fewer still really know what it feels like to be discriminated against.

This teacher used the eye color of people in her class to demonstrate the effect it has on people's mind. If, like me, you haven't had much direct experience with being discriminated against, this video can be quite an education. Don't miss it!
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Unrelated:
Here's a link on the latest NY Times study on class in America. This is NOT directly about discrimination. This is the first in a 3-part article on class.

Class in America: Shadowy Lines That Still Divide - New York Times

Here is Janny Scott's interview on C-Span's Washington Journal . The video is 1 hour long.

And here is a list of articles by the Times on class

Coffee: The New Health Food?

Oh, yeah! Read on WebMD about
Coffee: The New Health Food. Of course, my fellow addicts and I somehow intuitively knew all these benefits of coffee all along!